If you tend to be uncertain about your direction in life, have trouble making decisions, or often regret decisions you’ve made, then you need to identify your personal core values.

What are personal core values and why are they important?

Personal core values are a set of principles that guide your behavior and life choices. They aren’t “someday” goals or a wish list, but current beliefs and concepts that define you. Some common examples are: achievement, authenticity, kindness, family, faith, independence, integrity, and justice.

When you live your life in alignment with your core values—when you are true to yourself—you feel content, fulfilled, and on the right path. When your actions are not aligned with who you really are, you may feel unfulfilled, wayward, guilty, or inauthentic.

How do I figure out my core values?

This is a meaningful exploratory process, not an apple-picking exercise. You’ll need to reflect deeply on who you are at heart, for better or worse. The more honest you are with yourself, the more useful you will find this in the long run.

Below is a basic primer on the personal core values exploration process, but you might benefit from a much deeper dive than the contents of this post.

Use a combination of the following methods to figure out your top five core values.

1. THE LIST SELECTION METHOD

Select words from an established list of core values. Start by finding 20 or so words that truly reflect who you are, then narrow down the list to your 5 most essential values.

I used this list of personal core values by Scott Jeffrey. This one by Whitney English includes some softer words. This shorter one from James Clear may be easier to digest.

Remember that these are not values you merely hope to live up to someday, but concepts that you strongly identify with now. For example, I hope to attain greater wealth over time, but money does not motivate my actions on a regular basis. Wealth and affluence are not my core values.

2. THE MEMORABLE METHOD

Reflect on experiences in your life that have shaped you into the person you are today. These could be isolated experiences, or a group of behaviors or actions that indicate a repeated pattern in your life. What strong emotions are evoked? What values are at play?

For example, when I think about my relationships, jobs, and other aspects of my life it is clear that “freedom” is one of my core values. I feel threatened, anxious, and resentful about things that jeopardize my freedom. When I have freedom to do as I choose, I feel more satisfied and at peace.

3. THE SHINING STAR METHOD

Identify role models or people you admire – family, friends, celebrities, community leaders, politicians, historical figures, etc. What underlying values do their actions represent to you? Is it their enthusiasm for life? The power or influence they have over others? Their commitment to equality and justice? Their competitive spirit? Their faith in God; ingenuity; eye for aesthetics; commitment to their family?

Of the values you identified, which ones are driving forces in your own life? You may appreciate Serena Williams’ competitive spirit, but does the value of “competition” play a part in your life? Do you thrive on it? Would you feel unfulfilled if there was no competition in your life?

4. THE MUST-HAVE METHOD:

Consider what life would be like without a particular value. What would be difficult to live without? Here are some examples.

• Service – Would you feel good if you could not serve others regularly? Do you delight in doing for others? Do you volunteer your time to worthy causes?
• Wellness – Are healthy habits a part of your everyday life? Would you feel unsettled if you couldn’t exercise and eat healthfully on a regular basis?
• Creativity – Did you grow up with a pencil, paintbrush, building blocks, or fresh ideas in your back pocket? Would you miss creating if it were not present in your life?
• Generosity – Is it an honor, privilege, and duty to donate to charity? Do you do it on a regular basis? How does the idea of giving only one or two gifts a year sound to you?

5. THE WOULD-YOU-RATHER METHOD  

Pit your values against each other to distill your “maybes” down to the values at your core.  Ask yourself, “Do I live by this principle more often, or that one?” “Would I rather have this theme in my life, or that one?”

Try comparing values that are seemingly unrelated:

• Strength vs Organization – Would you rather be a construction worker or a receptionist?
• Adventure vs Ambition – Would you rather spend a week hiking or networking?
• Affluence vs Playfulness  – Would you rather teach a child how to build wealth or  how to build a sand castle?

Or, try comparing two values within the same general category. This can really stretch your self awareness. For example, in a complicated situation, would you choose authenticity over kindness; prestige over power; loyalty over integrity?

6. THE SURVEY METHOD

Rate your list of values on a scale of 1 to 3. Then select the five values that are the most important to you and relevant to your life.

1. Important
2. Very important and often evident in my life.
3. Extremely important. It takes up much of my time and energy. I’d be unhappy if this value were not present in my life, or if the opposite were present. I could probably write a book about it.

For example, “growth” is a driving force in my life. I’m unsettled when I’m stagnant. I read, listen to podcasts, and watch videos that teach me how to be a better version of myself. Going forward, I try to incorporate what I learn into my actions. I would rate “growth” a 3 on this scale.

If you have more than five values rated a 3, use the other methods to whittle the list down to five core values.

7. THE QUIZ METHOD

You can risk letting an online quiz tell you what your core values are, but this isn’t the best option. Online quizzes are often limited —they don’t seem to have a thorough database of values programmed into them. If the quiz only uses 20 values, it may miss some of the values that better represent you.

Nevertheless, online tests might be fun or give you a place to start. I found this one at mindcoolness.com to be interesting. Or you can try this Life Values Self Assessment from whatsnext.com.

Using you core values once you’ve identified them.

Once you’ve uncovered your top five core values, write them on an index card and display them where you’ll see them daily.

Reflect on them often to see how they play out in real time. A few months’ worth of experiences should confirm the values you’ve selected. If they don’t feel quite right, or if you’ve grown away from them, reevaluate them. You can fine tune your list so that it more accurately reflects you.

It will not always be easy to live in alignment with your core values. You may have habits and guilty pleasures that are incongruent with your values. Boring, difficult, or tedious tasks may cause you to procrastinate. You may even have to make value-aligned decisions that have consequences out of your control. When you do, you should rest easier knowing your choice is aligned with your values. This is a growth process, so take it in stride.

Understanding my core values has been a beacon of light. It’s taken weight off of my shoulders and has helped me breathe easier. I’m more in touch with what truly matters to me, and am more confident in my decisions. The path ahead is far more clear! I wish this for you as you continue along your personal growth journey.